


Home Tastes Like Your Mouth

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: And so is One Direction, Angst, But now they have to come together again, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harry and Louis are broken up, Intense, M/M, Passion, Romance, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 00:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4585794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Where does this leave us?” Harry asked apprehensively.</em>
</p>
<p>  <em>“You really hurt me, H. Maybe one day we can be more than friends again. But right now...I just can’t. I can’t give myself to you in that way right now. I’m guarded and I think I am justified in being guarded. So let’s just be friends. Let’s smash this tour. And let’s see what happens. Whatever will be, will be.”</em></p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Or, the one where Harry and Louis, and One Direction have broken up; and now, five years later, have to come together in preparation for a reunion tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Tastes Like Your Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this all night and I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with this! I think it may be the longest one-shot I've ever written. And I am completely in love. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it for you. I couldn't wait to share it with you all!

 

“You’re going to be okay, bub,” Liam said, rubbing his hand over the top of Harry’s shaking knee, “Really. You’ll be okay. We’re all going to be right there with you.”

“I know,” Harry fiddled with the hem of his button-down, “It’s just...I didn’t expect this. I mean, I knew I’d have to see him again at some point, I just didn’t expect that some point to be today. I thought I maybe had more time.”

Liam nodded, not really knowing what else to say. Harry took a sharp breath, leaned forward, and pressed his forehead into the cradle of his hands. He couldn’t face this today. He had always known some day he’d have to come to terms with this. But why did it have to be today? He felt Liam’s hand on his back, rubbing soft circles there. He couldn’t help but thank God for Liam Payne. Liam always held them all together. Except for the one time he couldn’t. But just Liam’s presence there was a comfort. Harry was certain he wouldn’t be able to do this without Liam. Or Niall. Zayn had left long before anything else had gone down. And while he supported them always, he was no longer a part of this. Fuck, they were no longer a part of this. Except, they were or else they wouldn’t be going in for a meeting today.

Harry had gotten the email a few days ago, requesting his presence at a business meeting in L.A. to discuss some “business ventures” with the rest of the boys. Harry had felt sick and had read the email multiple times just to make sure that it was real and that this was really, really happening. He lived in L.A now, and Liam had flewn in from Florida where he lived with Sophia, just a few days prior, to be with Harry and maybe even make sure he actually came to the meeting.

Niall was living in Ireland again and Louis? Well, Louis still had their house just outside of London. Except it wasn’t their house. Not anymore anyway. And it hadn’t been for the last five years. Five years. Harry gasped a little at the thought. Had it really been five years since...since the bottom fell out? Five years since the fight that resulted in him hopping the next flight to L.A and never really looking back? Five years since he’d walked out and left Louis behind?

It wasn’t as if Harry had wanted to end things with his boyfriend of five years. Louis had been Harry’s whole world - his best friend, his biggest supporter. From the moment they’d laid eyes on each other when they were just sixteen and eighteen, Harry knew there was something special and magnetic and rare between the two of them. Something that couldn’t just be ignored. And it had taken them about two days to be officially attached at the hip - always touching and never wanting to let go in fear that the other might dissolve away into thin air. Which Harry supposes is what he sort of, in a way, ended up doing.

“Have you had any communication with him at all?” Liam asked.

“No,” Harry rubbed his hands over his face, “Not really. I mean, he tried to call me a bunch of times but I...I didn’t answer. And then one day I just called him up just to try to talk to him and he answered the phone telling me not to dare call him again and he was done with me and with us and with everything. And that was that. I abided by his wishes. I never tried to reach out to him again. I figured if he ever wanted to talk to me again, he’d make the first effort.”

“Well, like I told the both of you five years ago when this shit went down, I am not on anyone’s side here. I don’t agree with what he did and I don’t agree with what you did. But we need to buckle down and be professional and just get through this meeting, alright H?”

“I know,” Harry sighed, “I can be professional. I can be. It’s just...it’s him I’m worried about. I know I fucked up, Li. I know I shouldn’t have just walked out like that. I fucked up so bad that night. And I knew it the second I slammed the door behind me. I could hear him crying, Li. And I just kept walking. And I abandoned him. We never, ever walked out on each other. We always rode out our fights or dealt with them. We never ran. We don’t run. But I did, Li. I ran and I didn’t look back. And I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t talk to him on the phone. I couldn’t...and then I finally worked up the nerve to call him and he told me he was done. I don’t even know what to do when I see him, Li. He’s been my whole world. For five years he was my whole world. And even though I haven’t seen him in five years, he is still my whole world. It’s fucking crazy, Li. But when I come home sometimes I talk to him like he’s still there. Is that insane?”

“No, bub. You just...you two are connected. You’re both missing your partner. Do you think there’s ever a chance you could fix things? Get back together?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, his voice was very, very small, “I mean, I’ve thought about it. More so these past few days. But...he sounded so final when I called him. It’s over, Li. It really is. And I just...I need to accept that. Why can’t I accept that?”

Liam tucked the tag that had flipped out back into the collar of Harry’s shirt and massaged his back again in soothing little rubs, “Maybe you can’t accept that it’s over, because maybe it really isn’t.”

The car pulled in front of the office building Harry had been to numerous times in the last ten years. He took a deep breath and Liam squeezed his shoulder. “It’s now or never, bub,” Liam said. Harry nodded and hopped out of the car, following in behind Liam.

The office building was just as he remembered. They took the elevator up to the correct floor of the building and Harry leaned against the cool metal wall of the elevator, allowing the coolness to penetrate. The sensation grounded him a bit. He focused on the numbing cold against his temple, and not on the butterflies in his stomach. He had attempted to have some plain toast that morning, but had regurgitated it - his stomach refusing anything save for the butterflies and nervous knots building there.

“Breathe, bub,” Liam said as the elevator doors opened up.

Harry and Liam headed into the office and into the boardroom. Niall was there already, sitting with his feet propped up on the massive table. He was texting. When he glanced up to see Liam and Harry, his face brightened.

“Hiya!” He said, putting his phone down and jumping out of his chair to hug them, “Good to see you, boys!”

“It’s good to see you too, Ni,” Liam squeezed him.

When Niall went to hug Harry, he whispered in his ear, “Been texting Louis. He’s on his way. He’s kind of a mess right now, to be honest.”

“That makes two of us,” Harry said, squeezing back. At least that was something, right? He didn’t enjoy the thought of Louis being in the same uncomfortable position Harry was, but it did make him a little bit more at ease to know that he and Louis were on the same page about something. That was something at least, right?

He still didn’t want to face him though. Harry took so much responsibility for what he’d done. He knew he had really hurt Louis that night. And now in just a few minutes, they were going to come face to face. Harry took a seat next to Naill and Liam went over to the coffee station and fixed Harry a cup of green tea.

“You need something on your stomach,” Liam said.

“Thanks,” Harry took a sip of his tea. His stomach lurched as it went down. He had never felt this nervous about anything in his life. Not his X-Factor audition, not all the live performances. Nothing even came close to this moment. He felt almost paralyzed with nerves. Suddenly, the door swung open and Louis walked in. Harry’s head snapped up and his eyes widened slightly.

Louis looked the same. He was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants that made him look even smaller than he already was. He had some scruff outlining his jaw and his hair was slightly shaggy. And Harry’s heart yanked against his chest. It took every amount of strength Harry had to stay put in his seat and not rush over to press his boy - not his boy anymore, Harry reminded himself - his his chest and cover his face in a thousand little kisses.

“ ‘ello,” Louis gave a small wave. He sat down next to Liam and Liam pulled him into a one-armed hug. Louis hugged back, resting his head against Liam’s shoulder a second, “It’s good to see you, Lima. It’s been too long.”

“Definitely too long,” Niall interjected, “I’ve missed you boys so much!”

“We’ve missed you too,” Liam smiled across the table. It was Harry and Niall on one said, and Liam and Louis on the other. And even though they said they weren’t taking sides, Harry felt rather much like the lines were drawn. Louis hadn’t even glanced at him. It was as though Harry was invisible. Harry almost would rather have Louis yell at him than just ignore him. He couldn’t stand the thought that Louis was just done with him. This couldn’t just be it, was it? Seeing Louis again, all these feelings and emotions came flooding back. And Harry couldn’t help but feel like he had when he’d first laid eyes on Louis at the tender age of sixteen. The moment he’d first ever seen Louis, he had wanted to get to know him - he wanted to know every detail of his life, every thread in the fabric of his story. And Harry was feeling like that all over again. He wanted to ask Louis how he was. He wanted to talk to Louis. He just...he wanted Louis to look this way. Say something to him. Anything to him at all. He couldn’t take the radio silence.

Finally, Harry just couldn’t take it another second. It was now or never, right? He took another sip of his tea and set the cup gently down on the table before saying, “Hello, Lou.” Everyone called Louis ‘Lou’ at some point or another. But when it came to Harry, he almost always referred to Louis was ‘Lou.’ It was a nickname he wasn’t sure he was still allowed to use, but not using it would be far too weird. Louis glanced up and his eyes met Harry’s across the table. And Harry felt sixteen all over again. Except with all these new feelings and fears. He wasn’t sixteen and just meeting Louis for the first time. He was now twenty-six, and he had had his boy and had lost him.

“H,” Louis said with a nod. His voice was curt. But it was at least something, right?

“So, business venture,” Niall rubbed his hands together, “Any idea what it could be?”

“I know,” Louis said, flicking the fringe out of his eyes. Harry knew it was a nervous habit he had. Whenever he was nervous or anxious or just a little bored, his dainty little wrist would flick, his fingers brushing the feathery hair from his eyes. Even when his hair was cut short, he would still attempt to do his fringe flick. And Harry would just smile at him because really, watching Louis try to flick hair that wasn’t that was pretty cute. And Louis would just pretend that he’d gone to scratch above his eye or something.

“What?” Liam turned to Louis, “You know?”

“Of course I know, Lima Bean. Who do you think called the meeting?”

“What?” Niall turned to Harry, “Did you know about this?”

Harry’s brow creased, “How the fuck would I know about this, Niall? It’s not like…” his voice trailed off when he noticed Louis was staring at him with a raised brow. And besides. Harry couldn’t finish that sentence. Couldn’t admit that he and Louis no longer talked or keyed each other in on things. The Dream Team was long over now. Harry was no longer a part of Louis’ plans or schemes or life.

“I want to do a reunion tour,” Louis announced plainly. Harry coughed once, choking on his own saliva. Louis continued on as if Harry wasn’t even there, “It’s been five years since we all split to do our own things. And I think it’d be a good thing for us to do a reunion tour. We can visit a few cities here and there here in America, then see what the feedback is. Test the waters a bit. If things are successful, we can expand the tour. I just think we left things sort of abruptly five years ago, and we owe our fans something. They’ve always been so great to us. They deserve this.”

“You always look out for them,” Liam said fondly.

“I try to,” Louis shrugged, “Without them, we wouldn’t have had any of what we did. And they deserve this from us. Besides, I think it would be fun - traveling and touring a bit with you boys. Almost like old times.”

Harry felt his gut clench at that.

“Louis, you can’t honestly think that things could ever be like old times, do you?” Niall asked, “I mean, it sounds legend - it really does! But One Direction ended because…”

“Because of me,” Harry picked at a hangnail, not looking up from his hands. It was true. No one would ever come right out and say it, but after Harry and Louis stopped, One Direction stopped. Nothing worked without Harry and Louis. It’s what had made One Direction work so well in the first place. People loved them because of the bonds they all had with each other. But especially Harry and Louis. Larry Stylinson had been a huge part of things. Fans loved them and supported them. Even if Harry and Louis were just friends, it was clear that they had something special and the fans loved that. Without Harry and Louis, as HarryandLouis, there was no One Direction. Things couldn’t work without them working together. And Harry was sure he and Louis would never be able to work together again.

“How is this even going to work then?” Liam asked, taking the attention off Harry, “You can’t just propose something like this, Lou. It’s not...things are different. There’s a lot of pain and animosity here,” Liam pointed between Harry and Louis, “and that will affect things. The only way this could work…”

“...is for Harry and I to work,” Louis nodded, “I know. I’ve given that a lot of thought, okay? If we agree to do this, I am willing to put the past behind us and move forward. I am willing for us to be friends, H. I really am.”

Harry’s heart skipped a little at that. He had never even thought he’d ever speak to Louis again, much less Louis suggest a friendship between them. He was willing to take anything. If Louis was willing to offer it, Harry would gladly take it and embrace it.

“You know how I am about our fans,” Louis tapped his fingers to an unknown beat against the polished wooden table, “I see them all as like...as like a family. Our family. It’s a unique and special bond I don’t think any other band or ‘celebrity’ have with their fans. We’ve called them ‘our girls’ before and they call us ‘their boys.’ We left things very broken. It wasn’t fair to the fans. They gave us so much. I just feel like we need to give them something in return. Something to try to make up for the way things ended five years ago.”

“Do you think we’d even have anyone want to come hear us?” Niall said with a slightly chuckle, “We’re old!”

“Not that old!” Louis scoffed, indignantly.

“Says the old man,” Liam smirked and Louis smacked him upside the head and the four of them dissolved into a fit of giggles.

And it felt nice. It felt so, so nice to be able to laugh again with them. And when their giggles quieted down a little bit, Harry lifted his head up and his eyes met Louis’. They stared at each other for a little bit. And a small shadow of a smile crossed Louis’ face. The butterflies in Harry’s stomach returned ten-fold.

“Can you boys give me a mom to talk with H for a second?” Louis asked.

Liam glanced to Harry who just nodded. Liam and Niall headed out to the hallway to wait. Harry felt as though all the oxygen had been vacuumed from the room. He was finally alone with Louis for the first time in years.

“Hi,” Louis’ voice was soft. That shy little high-pitched thing only a few people got to hear. Harry was one of those people.

“Hi,” Harry smiled shyly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He had no idea what was appropriate right now. But he knew he needed to say it, “Lou...I am so…”

Louis merely held up a hand, “Stop it, H. I don’t want to hear apologies. What is done is done. You made your decision and I’ve made mine. We didn’t work as boyfriends, clearly. And you chose to walk out and leave me behind and I’ve come to terms with that. It took me awhile, but I came to terms with it. I want this reunion tour. And if we agree to this, then we are going to have to be friends for this to work. We cannot be fighting and arguing and affecting the mood of things, H. We needed to get along and work well together or this will never work full-stop. Got it?”

Harry nodded along, trying to process all of what he was hearing, “Okay. So how would this work then?”

“Simple,” Louis shrugged, “Just friends. Good friends maybe one day. You hurt me, Harry. More than I’ve ever been hurt in my entire life. But it is what it is. And that’s in the past. You made your choices. And I can’t go back in time and make you stay with me. Fuck, I couldn’t make you stay even then. But leaving was your choice. Not hating you for it is mine. And believe me, H. It took me a lot of time to get to this point. But we’re here now. And I am willing to be your friend. And I am willing to work together with you and I am willing to make this reunion tour a success.”

“You think we’re all going to agree to this, then?”

“Of course,” Louis smirked, “You already have. Niall almost jizzed in his pants at the thought of it. And Liam wouldn’t deny the three of us anything in the universe. This is happening. And it’s happening soon.”

Louis stood to go grab Liam and Niall and tell them to come back inside. They discussed dates and times. Their lawyers met and looked over paperwork and contracts. Harry was still trying to process everything. This was really happening. They were actually going on tour again the four of them. His heart skipped a little at the thought. And Louis wanted to be friends. Harry felt very much overwhelmed.

“Where do we go from here?” Niall asked.

“Well, we are going to have the first concert here at the Staples Center,” Louis explained, already having planned most of this - he had always been so good at coming up with massive plans in short amounts of time. He was always messy and disorganized and could be so immature about things, but when it came to work, Louis always buckled down. “In...three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” Liam’s eyes almost burst from their sockets, “You cannot be serious, Lou.”

“I am,” Louis smirked, “We can do it. We’ll announce the tour tomorrow. All we have to do is come up with a setlist and do some rehearsals and we’re golden.”

“Come up with a setlist and do some rehearsals,” Liam parroted, “That’s easier said than done, babe. How are we going to come up with a setlist and rehearse in just a few weeks?”

“We can do it,” Louis insisted, “I know we can. We’ve got this. It’s us, for God’s sake! If anyone can pull this off, it’s us. Even if it’s by the skin of our teeth, okay. We’ve got this. I know we do. And as far as the setlist, we’ll each come up with a list of our favorite songs of all time and then pick from there. We can do this. Have some faith, Li.”

Harry cleared his throat, running his finger along the rim of his cup of tea, “Um...if you all want, we can go back to mine. We can discuss songs and I can make a fruit platter.”

“A fruit platter?” Louis raised a brow, “How about we just pitch in for some pizzas instead?”

“Pizza?” Niall’s face lit up like a bulb.

“Sounds good to me,” Liam shrugged.

“Great,” Harry nodded, “Pizza sounds good to me too,” Harry took a deep breath and told himself to try. He met Louis’ gaze and smiled warmly, “Good idea, Lou.”

“Thanks,” Louis smiled softly, staring down at his hands. Harry thought he saw a touch of blush stain his cheeks. And Harry couldn’t help but smile again. Things were going to be okay. They were going to be okay.

\--

Harry got back to his house first. He hopped out of the car and hurried inside to glance around and make sure everything was in order. He was generally a very neat, tidy person. But still. He hadn’t seen the boys in years and he hadn’t seen Louis and he just wanted everything to be as perfect as possible. He froze when we saw the pictures he had framed along the mantel of the fireplace. There were several pics of him and his mom, him and Robin, him and Des, him and Gems. There were a few with the four of them. And there was one right in the middle of him and Louis. It had been taken on their last Christmas together in their home. They were both donning ugly Christmas sweaters. They were laughing into the camera with their arms wrapped around each other. Harry had stuck a Santa hat on Louis’ head and it was sloppily hanging to one side. He was pretty sure Louis was tickling him in that photo. They both looked so happy and so silly in love. And when Harry had first settled in to his L.A home for good, he had debated taking that photo down. But he just couldn’t bear to. It was still a touch of Louis in his home. A touch of Louis he desperately, desperately needed.

The doorbell rang and Harry quickly turned from the picture to the foyer. He debated taking it down, but thought against it. Instead, he left the picture in it’s proper place and hurried to answer the door. Liam, Louis, and Niall were standing there. Harry smiled and swung the door open wider, motioning them to come inside.

“Come in, come in,” Harry smiled. He still felt sick with nerves. Louis’ hadn’t been here since they’d last come to L.A together. It was one of the homes they shared. Louis’ name was technically on the paperwork. It was his just as much as it was Harry’s. But it was just unspoken that the London home became Louis’ and the L.A home had become Harry’s.

“It’s been awhile,” Niall said, glancing around.

“Here, let’s go into the living room. We can hang out for a bit and wait on the pizza. When the pizza gets here we can crack down and actually work,” Harry led them into the living room. Louis hung behind the rest of them, glancing around with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He looked a little lost. And Harry’s heartstrings pulled. Louis looked so lost in the home that had once been equally his. Harry hated that.

Liam wandered over to the fireplace and began to scan over the pictures on the mantel. Louis joined him and Harry watched, taking a seat on one of the sofas. Louis reached out to touch the picture of the two of them, but yanked his hand back as if it had burned him. He shoved his hand back into the pocket of his sweatshirt.

“I forgot about this one,” he mumbled.

Harry stood from the sofa and went over to stand by him. He still couldn’t tell what was appropriate or not. It was hard to gauge the situation and hard to read Louis. He used to be able to read Louis better than he could read himself. But this moment right here, right now, was so strange and unknown. This was completely uncharted territory. Harry had never, ever been just Louis’ friend. He had no idea what that entailed. And it was scary to come to that realization. They had never, ever been just friends. They jumped right away into being each other’s and belonging to each other in every sense. Harry had no idea how to be Louis’ friend.

“That’s a good one,” Harry said from behind Louis.

“It is,” Louis smiled shyly, “Don’t know how you convinced me to wear that ugly-ass sweater.”

Harry shrugged, “Wasn’t that hard to convince you.”

“You always did have me wrapped around your finger, huh H?” Louis asked, turning away from the photos on the mantel.

“Like you’d want to be anywhere else,” Harry scoffed. He could feel the glint in his eye. He could feel his cheeks heating slightly. This was flirting. He knew this was flirting. Just friends don’t flirt with each other. But Louis’ shy smile and soft blush seemed to indicate he didn’t really protest to the fact. And Harry couldn’t help but recognize how comfortable it was to flirt and tease with each other. That’s how they had always been. It’s all they knew how to be.

“Don’t flatter yourself, H,” Louis smirked, and as he passed Harry to make his way to the kitchen, Harry swore Louis’ hip bumped his.

Niall was already digging through Harry’s fridge. If it was anyone else, maybe Harry would be a bit put-off. But he had expected this from Niall. Niall was already dipping some pre-cut celery sticks into a jar of peanut butter. Harry couldn’t help but smile. He liked having the boys here in his home again. It really had been far too long. The house felt more alive, more comfortable with them there.

“Did you just double-dip into his peanut butter?” Louis raised his brows, scandalized.

“Oops!” Niall blushed slightly.

“ ‘s okay,” Harry rolled his eyes, “We all have each other’s cooties by now anyway. So, what pizzas should we order?” Harry opened up his take-out menu drawer and grabbed the pizza menu to their old favorite pizza place, Papa Pepperoni’s. Whenever they boys used to come over for weekend slumber parties - not that anyone would actually use that term, but that was what they were - they would order from Papa Pepperoni’s. They’d order multiple pizzas and lounge on the floor of the living room watching movies and talking lazily. A large part of Harry wondered if that could come back tonight.

“Oooh meat lover’s for me!” Niall said, crunching another celery stick.

“Niall, you tryin’ to say you like meat, then?” Louis raised a playful brow. Niall choked on his celery stick.

“Nah, that’s you,” Niall said, pounding on his chest to calm his coughing.

“Meh,” Louis shrugged, grabbing a celery stick from the container, “I haven’t really had meat in a good few years. You know, you have a really good pizza, nothing else can really compare afterwards.”

Jesus Christ. Harry choked on his own saliva. He had to turn his face away, he was coughing so hard. How could Louis just be so upfront with that? Harry hadn’t been with anyone else since Louis. In fact, Louis had been his first and his last. But still...for Louis to just outright say that so casually…

“Okay then,” Liam held up a hand, “You know me. I like Chicken Alfredo.”

“Okay,” Harry’s coughing had calmed and he dug his cell phone from his jeans pocket, “And let me guess. Supreme for Louis, no mushrooms and extra peppers?”

“You know me so well,” Louis cooed. And yes, yes this was most certainly flirting.

“Like you don’t have my pizza order memorized by heart,” Harry rolled his eyes. Oh God. What was he doing? He was flirting with Louis. Louis had said he had wanted to just be friends. Not even good friends yet. Just friends and just to make this tour a success. But Harry had no idea how to talk to Louis without flirting with him. It was natural to him. Like breathing. And Louis wasn’t exactly stopping him. In fact, he was almost encouraging him.

“Veggie lovers with sweet corn and extra olives,” Louis ticked off as if it were nothing. He smiled a shit-eating grin and Harry simply sighed and dialed the pizza number.

After placing their orders, they took a seat at the bar stools in the kitchen. They continued to eat celery sticks dipped in peanut butter while they shared small chit-chat over what they were all up to. Liam was happy just hanging out with Sophia in Florida. He may or may not have moved there to be close to Disney World. If you said he did, he would deny it full-heartedly. He still did some writing on the side for other musicians. Niall was just happy living a quiet life in Ireland. He’d sometimes go golfing with his dad. But he was mostly just happy with his quiet little life. He said he particularly enjoyed getting to go out to the market without being mobbed. Louis was still doing some writing too. He was working on several small side projects - mostly promoting small musicians and getting their names out there. He had always wanted to give others the same chance he had once been given.

They shared jokes and laughed together and it came so naturally to them to all be hanging out like this. It was almost as if no time had passed and things were exactly like how they used to be. If Harry closed his eyes and imagined really hard, he could almost pretend that these last five years hadn’t happened. That he and Louis were still hosting the boys in their home and they were all just laughing and hanging out during their small break in between the chaos of touring and promos.

But they weren’t.

Even though Louis’ name was on the papers, this wasn’t his home. And they weren’t hosting the boys together. Harry was hosting them. And those five years had happened. And there was no way Harry could go back and simply erase them. He had chosen to walk out on Louis and come to L.A. And as soon as that door had shut behind him, he had made the choice to end things. And things would never and could never be the same as before. But it was still so, so nice to be able to pretend.

And they were having fun. Niall burped loudly and they all doubled over in a huge fit of laughter. Liam and Louis joked back and forth together. And while sitting across from each other, Harry and Louis’ feet would sometimes knock against each other’s. Totally by accident every time, of course. Harry couldn’t help it if his legs were long and gangly. And Louis’ were too short to rest against the metal bar of the barstool. Totally and completely accidental.

“Ow!” Niall protested, “Are you two playing footsie right now?”

“No!” Harry and Louis both snapped. They glanced at each other and the tips of their ears turned bright red. Liam let out a whoosh of breath.

“So...how long are you two going to be pulling this ‘just friends’ thing?” Liam asked.

“What do you mean?” Louis frowned.

“I mean that you two can’t just be friends with each other. You two are already fonding all over each other and we’ve only been here for about ten minutes. You two really think you can be just friends?”

Harry’s heart skipped. He was hopeful Liam was right. Until Louis said -

“Lima, I said it before. What’s in the past is in the past. Harry and Louis are not anything but friends and that’s how it’s going to remain. Maybe we don’t know how to be friends in the most conventional of senses. But that is all we are and that is all we are going to be.”

“But…” Niall tried to interject but Louis held up a firm hand.

“Enough,” he said sharply, “It is what it is. And this is what it is. Harry and I are just friends. And he’s lucky we’re even that,” Louis hopped off the bar stool, “I’m going to go outside to have a smoke. You two,” he pointed to Niall and Liam, “stop trying to make things into what they aren’t.”

Harry’s face crumpled as he watched Louis head out to the backyard. He still had Louis’ ashtrays out there. The table on the back patio was always one of Louis’ favorite places to smoke when he needed to clear his head. Harry knew was the thing. He had known he couldn’t be anything more with Louis. He was letting hopeful thinking get in the way of logic. And he had no one to blame but himself for anything. He had ruined what they had once had. And it could never be again. He just needed to accept that.

Harry put his head in his arms on the counter. Liam reached over and rubbed Harry’s back gently. Harry let out an exasperated sigh.

“I have no one to blame but myself,” Harry choked back a soft sob, “I really don’t. And I thought I could be okay. I thought I could handle being just friends. I mean, just friends is better than what it’s been the last five years. At least we’re talking again and laughing again. I just want him in my life, you guys. I don’t care in what way. I just want him in my life. But it was stupid. Him being here with all of you...I let myself imagine that it was like old times again.”

“You two should talk,” Liam encouraged, “You should go out to him. Talk about things a bit. Nialler and I are fine here. We can make ourselves at home and we’ll come get you when the pizza comes.”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” Harry shook his head.

“I do,” Niall urged, “Go to him, H.”

Harry took a deep breath as he hopped down from the barstool and headed out towards the backyard. His hand froze at the doorknob. He took another sharp breath as he turned the knob and headed out to the backyard. Louis was sitting at the table on the patio. He had a cigarette between his slender fingers. Harry couldn’t help but smile a little when he saw the lime green lighter resting on top of the pack of cigarettes. Louis always did have a thing for lime green.

“Hi,” Harry said softly, “May I sit?”

“ ‘s your house, innit?” Louis shrugged.

Harry frowned and sat down in the seat next to Louis’. Louis shifted the cigarette into his other hand so the smoke wouldn’t billow into Harry’s face. Harry smoked on occasion, but he hated cigarette smoke. He’d never harped on Louis’ for it. It was an understanding they had. They were their own people. If Louis wanted to smoke, Harry never tried to stop him. And Louis always made an effort to be careful not to smoke around Harry.

“Liam says we need to talk,” Harry started.

“I don’t have much to say,” Louis shrugged again, taking a drag off the cigarette.

“Sure you do,” Harry took a deep breath, “You’re angry at me. I know you are. You can deny it all you want. But I know I hurt you and I know that’s inexcusable. And I know you’re mad at me. So be mad, Louis. Yell at me. Hurt me. Do something!”

“I can’t hurt you, H,” Louis said, his voice suddenly very soft, “Is that what you want?”

“I just...I want...I feel like I deserve it.”

“A punishment you mean,” Louis killed the cigarette, “Haz, I’m not going to punish you,” Louis said, and Harry’s heart skipped at the familiar nickname, “Like I said, it’s in the past…”

“You say that, and you can say it until you’re blue in the face, Lou. But the fact remains that I know there’s feelings there. I know there are. Be open with me, please.”

“You want me to be open?” Louis raised a brow, turning to face Harry, “Okay. You fucking killed me that night, Harry. You and I had a fight. Couples fight. We fight. But we never once walked out until that night. You made a choice then. You made a choice to leave me. When you walked out, that was you telling me you were done with me. And I begged you not to go. I was crying, H. I was actually fucking sobbing and clutching onto you and you yanked away and left me. Liam had to come over and pick me up off the fucking floor by the door because I couldn’t even move. Why did you do that? Why did you do that to me?”

Harry felt the tears prickling his eyes. “Nothing I say can ever change what I did to you, Louis. It was wrong of me. So, so wrong of me. I was tired. I was tired of everything. And when I left...I honestly didn’t think it would be the end. I just needed some time away from everything to sort through my thoughts. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. And I needed a break. I needed a break from the band, from you. I know it was wrong to walk out. I regretted it the second the door closed. But I just kept going. I didn’t look back. And I came here. And you kept calling and calling and I knew I had fucked up. And I had no idea how to even tell you how sorry I was. So I never picked up. Then I finally had the time to work through things. I thought about it a lot. I knew I wanted you in my life. I knew I had made a huge mistake. I was calling to tell you I wanted to come home...and you said you were done with me. And I didn’t know what to do from there. I thought if I just left you alone, you’d come around. I thought if I just…”

“You fucking idiot!”

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t want you to leave me alone. I wanted...I don’t know what I wanted. I guess I wanted to just hurt you as much as you had hurt me. I didn’t mean it, H. I really didn’t mean that that was the end.”

“Oh my God!” Harry cried, “Are you...do you mean to tell me...that we both didn’t want it to end?”

“I guess we didn’t,” Louis sighed, “Fuck. I don’t know. All I know was that I thought you’d still come home anyway. And that we’d talk in person and figure it out. And that we’d be okay in time. But you...but you didn’t. And so I just assumed...I just...I thought you were done so I was just going to let you be done.”

“So what does this mean?”

“That we’re both complete fucking morons,” Louis shook his head in disbelief, “I didn’t want this to end. And you didn’t want this to end. But I thought I was giving you space. And you thought you were giving me space. And shit. Fuck.”

“If we had actually just talked all those years ago, I am certain things would have been different.”

“Oh my God.”

“Where does this leave us?” Harry asked apprehensively.

“You really hurt me, H. Maybe one day we can be more than friends again. But right now...I just can’t. I can’t give myself to you in that way right now. I’m guarded and I think I am justified in being guarded. So let’s just be friends. Let’s smash this tour. And let’s see what happens. Whatever will be, will be.”

Harry nodded. He would accept that. Besides, it left room for hope. And hope was something Harry had desperately needed. Now he had it. He had a ray of hope. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. Louis fiddled with his lighter a bit, but refrained from lighting another cigarette.

“It’s gonna be okay, Harry,” he said, his voice was soft and suddenly his hand abandoned the lime green lighter to run gentle fingertips across the top of Harry’s hand. It was a small touch, only a fraction of a second before Louis took his hand away and shoved it into the pocket of his sweatpants. But it was enough. “Whatever happens, it’s going to be okay.”

\--

“The pizza’s here you guys!” Liam called from the back door. Harry and Louis looked to each other for a moment, sharing a small smile before standing up from the table and heading inside. Louis grasped the door first, holding it open and saying -

“After you.”

Once inside, they saw the boys had already taken to opening up the various pizza boxes and digging around in the cabinets for plates and utensils. After everyone fixed their plates, they headed into the living room to sprawl out on the floor. They nibbled their pizzas and had small talk before Liam cleared his throat and called everyone to order.

“We need to discuss our setlist. What songs were we thinking?”

“Favorites,” Louis said, nibbling on his pizza crust, “Our favorites. Fan favorites.”

“So...not Diana?” Niall asked with a mischievous smile.

There was a resounding, “No!” from the rest of the boys. They discussed their favorite songs and it was agreed upon that No Control, Fireproof, What Makes You Beautiful, Best Song Ever, Fool’s Gold, Eighteen, Little Things, Through The Dark, would be among the final selections.

“Wait a second…” Liam paused, scanning the list Louis had written on the back of a napkin, “...are you two sure you want to do Eighteen and Little Things?”

“Mate,” Louis ran a hand through his hair, “half those songs were written about our relationship. We can’t just cut them. Besides, they’re damn good songs. And it wouldn’t be a show without them, right? Unless…” Louis paused, “Haz, are you okay with them being on the list?”

“Um...sure?” Harry lifted a shoulder. He hadn’t really given it much thought. They always sang those songs. Most of their songs were about their relationship and their love for one another. So many songs about ships and compasses and rivers and boats and whatnot. And two people loving each other unconditionally. Harry frowned slightly. Unconditionally. Was there even such a thing as unconditional love? He used to believe so strongly that there was. Now though...he wasn’t sure anymore.

“Okay, well that’s settled then. We can talk more about this tomorrow then,” Liam stuck the napkin on Harry’s mantle, “Well boys. Good work. This is going to be a busy few weeks for us. Tomorrow morning, the team is making the Twitter announcement. And then these next few weeks will be packed. What do you say we pop in a movie and just chill tonight? If that’s okay with you, H?”

“Yeah, sure of course,” Harry reached for his TV remote and tossed it to Liam, “There should be Amazon Instant on there. And Netflix, of course. I think.”

“What do you mean you think?” Niall asked, popping a pepperoni into his mouth.

“I just...I’m not here much,” Harry shrugged, “And when I am here, it’s mostly just to sleep. I don’t really hang out here enough to sit down with a movie or something.”

“What do you mean?” Louis frowned, he was picking at a bubble in his pizza crust.

“Just...I don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “It’s weird still. Being here without you. So I tend to go out a lot. I crash a lot at friend’s places or keep busy so I’m only ever here really to just shower and sleep. Still...still feels like part yours,” Harry was frowning now too. He couldn’t meet Louis’ gaze as he said it.

“I know what you mean,” Louis replied, his voice a shadow of a whisper - meant only for Harry to hear while Liam and Niall turned their attention to finding a movie, “The London place...I don’t like being there much either. The fucking closet still smells like your damn cologne by the way. From where you accidentally knocked it off your vanity and it spilled everywhere. Never could get that smell out.”

“ ‘m sorry,” Harry said. And not just in regards to the cologne.

“I know,” Louis picked at a thread on the rug.

They rearranged themselves on Harry’s large leather sectional couch. Liam and Niall took one section of the “L” and Harry and Louis took the other. Harry tucked his legs up underneath him, trying to shy away as much as possible from Louis. As much as he wanted to be cuddled up next to him, he knew that wasn’t possible. He needed to stop thinking about things like that. Thoughts of cuddling up against Louis, of sitting in his lap, of peppering his cheeks and nose in playful kisses until Louis was a giggling little mess…

Christ.

Harry ran a hand through his hair and tried to focus on the TV as Liam scrolled through the movies catalog on Amazon Instant. Harry couldn’t help but allow his gaze to drift over to the boy no more than three feet away from him. Louis was tucked up on the sofa too. He was curled so that his arms were resting on the arm of the couch, his chin against his forearms. He looked a little sleepy. Louis always did get a bit worn down during travels. It was one of the reasons he was sick often during tours. His eyelids were already heavy, and Harry wouldn’t be too surprised if sleep didn’t consume him completely during the movie.

Harry reached up behind him, yanking the Afghan down from the back of the couch. It was a tacky, multi-colored thing Gems had picked up in her travels and had brought home to Harry. It didn’t match his decor at all. But he liked it because well. One, it was from her. And two, it was snuggly as fuck. Always a plus. He spread the Afghan out so that his legs and Louis’ were both covered.

Louis turned to him, surprised by the sudden sensation of a blanket being draped over him, “Thanks, H,” he said, his brows furrowed a little in slight confusion, but his voice genuine.

“Sure thing,” Harry shrugged, “If you get tired during the movie, just let me know and I can fetch you a pillow or something.”

A warm smile lit Louis’ face. One of those famous Louis-smiles that felt as though he was actually the literal sun. And Harry felt something warm stirring inside his stomach. Louis was always beautiful. But when he smiled...the whole world was put right.

They settled on watching Iron Man for what was probably the thousandth time for all of them. But it was something light, easy, and familiar. It was halfway through the movie when Louis adjusted slightly. He scooted closer to Harry, tucking his body against his and resting his head onto his shoulder. Harry glanced down at the boy leaning against him, blinking in surprise.

“ ‘m sorry,” Louis yawned behind his hand, “ ‘m sleepy and you’re comfy.”

Harry couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his face. He had missed everything about Louis. But he’d really missed his sleepy-voice. Whenever Louis was tired, his voice turned into something rich and thick and syrupy. And he always sounded pouty. He could be grumpy when tired, but mostly when he was really sleepy he just needed to be cuddled. That was the thing about Louis. He always needed some form of physical contact rather it was in a cuddle or a touch of hands or something. He just needed that assurance. It was grounding to him. Harry thought back to Louis’ meat comment.

“When was the last time you were cuddled, sweetheart?” Harry asked gently, brushing his fingertips through Louis’ soft, wispy hair.

Louis’ voice was sleep-heavy when he replied, “Five years ago…” then his eyes shut, and he fell into Dreamland. And Harry’s heart ached.

Five years was too long. Louis’ couldn’t stand not being touched and held for more than a few hours at a time. When they had to be separated due to work, it was almost unbearable. And even then it had just been for a few weeks at the most. This had been five years. Five years since Louis felt a tender touch. Harry loved cuddles as much as anyone really. But the thing was, he could distract himself and keep busy and take his mind off of it. But Louis...he couldn’t imagine. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ frame, and cuddled him closer. He made sure Liam and Niall were too drawn into the movie before pressing a gentle kiss to Louis’ temple.

\--

“We should get going,” Liam yawned, watching the credits roll. It was getting late, and they needed to get their rest before their lives spiralled into complete madness tomorrow.

“Wait,” Harry whispered, Louis still asleep against him.

“How long has he been like that?” Liam asked, pointing to Louis.

“Since about half-way through the movie,” Harry admitted, stroking Louis’ hair softly, “He curled up against me and I…”

“It’s okay,” Liam smiled knowingly, “You two both need to hold each other a bit right now. Nialler and I should get going through…”

“You most certainly won’t!” Harry protested, “You’re staying here. We didn’t buy this place with extra guest rooms for nothing. Besides, you’re both exhausted. Stay here for tonight. You both pretty much have rooms here with old clothes in the closets. It’s fine really. I’d...I’d want you to stay.”

“That sounds great, actually,” Niall stretched, cracking his back as he did so. Harry winced at the sound.

“Go on and go up to the guest rooms and get some rest. I’ll clean this mess up in the morning. It can wait til then,” Harry glanced around at the empty pizza boxes and grease-stained plates.

“Are you sure?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, let’s just leave it. Go on and go up and get some rest. I’ll make us all breakfast in the morning.”

“Thanks, H,” Niall said, hopping up from the floor, “Really. Tonight was great.”

Liam came over and gave Harry a quick hug goodnight before following Niall up the back staircase to the second story of Harry’s home. It was familiar being here with the boys again. Their presence made the house feel alive again. Harry gently shook Louis’ shoulder.

“Lou...Lou…” Harry ran a soft finger over Louis’ cheek, “C’mon, Lou.”

“Hmm?” Louis scrunched up his nose, “Is it morning?”

“No baby,” Harry couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. Couldn’t help the ‘baby’ that escaped his lips either for that matter, “You fell asleep during the movie. Let’s get you upstairs to bed, okay? You can’t sleep on the couch all night.”

“Mmm...okay,” Louis yawned and stirred himself more awake. Harry pushed up off the couch and held out his hand to Louis. Louis took it and Harry helped Louis up.

“Li and Niall are in the guest rooms for the night. Where would you like to sleep?”

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shook his head, “No...it’d be too weird.”

“What would be, Lou?”

“Sleeping with you. Like...not like that. Just like...in the bed with you. I really, really liked that bed.”

“You can sleep with me,” Harry replied, noting how as they climbed the stairs together, Louis’ hand was still holding onto his, “It wouldn’t be weird. It’s been too long anyway. It’ll be...it’ll be nice.”

They paused outside the doorway of their old bedroom that they used to share. It had been so, so long since they crossed the threshold together. Louis stared at the bed, eyes wide a little. Harry wished he could see inside that mind of his - wanted to know what memories Louis was currently playing through.

“Your clothes are in your drawers,” Harry explained, turning towards the dresser.

“You didn’t move them out?”

“Couldn’t,” Harry opened up his second dresser drawer to pull out a clean t-shirt. Louis stepped forward and cautiously opened his second drawer as well. Louis’ old t-shirts were still neatly folded inside.

“Thanks,” Louis said, pulling out a baggy Adidas tee.

They both turned around to change. Which felt strange and awkward in its own right. They had seen each other naked countless times even prior to having anything sexual. Harry had practically lived in the nude during the X-Factor days. And it wasn’t unusual for he and Louis to sleep together in the same bed - Louis shirtless and Harry completely in his birthday suit. But this was different now. And Harry had to remind himself of that. He slipped out of his tight jeans and pulled on his t-shirt. When he was dressed, he turned around to see Louis standing beside the bed, running his hand along the duvet.

“You can get in, you know,” Harry prompted, going over to his side of the bed. Always his side of the bed, even here alone he never dared roll to Louis’ side. Louis swallowed and brushed his fingertips over his pillow.

“I know, it’s just…God Harry,” Harry looked up to see the tears in Louis’ eyes, “Why did this have to happen to us? It was _us_ for God’s sake! We weren’t supposed to end. We were supposed to last. We were...fuck! _We were supposed to last!_ ”

Harry inhaled sharply, not expecting this at all. It felt as though he’d been hit with a thousand bricks. Harry crawled into the bed and motioned for Louis to crawl in beside him. Louis tucked himself against Harry just like on the couch. Still after all these years, they were two pieces of a puzzle. They just fit together. And Harry swore when Louis tucked into him like that, he could hear a soft little “snap.” His perfect puzzle piece.

“I know,” Harry kept his voice gentle, “I...I am so, so sorry Louis. I hate this. I never...I wish I had never walked out that night. Everything was just so much. I mean, first there was Eleanor and then the baby rumors. A _baby_ , Louis! _We_ were supposed to have babies. _Us!_ And I just got so overwhelmed. And then you and I had that awful fight. I don’t even know what prompted it…”

“Curry.”

“What?”

“Curry,” Louis said, “You wanted to know if I wanted curry from the Thai place for dinner, or noodles from the Mongolian place. And I said Mongolian. And you sad ‘but we just had Mongolian.’ And...yeah.”

“Oh,” Harry remembered now. Oh, did he ever remember, “And then...then...somehow a fight over dinner turned into...me being angry with you over the baby rumors. A thing I knew you couldn’t even control. And I just got so angry and hateful that night. And I just...I wanted to get away.”

“From me,” Louis’ voice was very small.

“From you, yes. I just...I needed a moment of complete silence to think. And Louis, with you...there is no silence. There’s just loud, loud, loud. And I couldn’t think. And I needed to just think. And so I walked out and left. Got on a plane to L.A. I thought at the time...I _swear_ to you Louis, I thought I’d just be in L.A for like a weekend. And then I’d fly home. But you kept calling and calling and I just felt so suffocated.”

“By me.”

“By _everything_. And looking back on it now, I know that if I had just come to you and talked to you openly about what I was feeling, we could have worked past it together. But I didn’t. Instead, I bottled it up and lashed out at you. And then I abandoned you. And I will never - I could never - forgive myself for doing that to you, Lou. It was cruel of me. It really was. And I just...I wish I could take back that whole night. I miss you so, so much. Everyone told me it’d get easier in time.”

“But it doesn’t,” Louis was rubbing the duvet between his fingers, “the pain doesn’t go away. It feels like a chunk of you is missing. And the longer it is, the larger the chunk grows. And before you know it, it’s been five years. And you still break down when you go into the closet because of the smell of your dumbass boyfriend’s spilled cologne. And even though the fucking carpet _reaks_ in that damn closet, you find yourself sleeping there on the floor inhaling as much of that smell as you possibly can because it’s the only piece of him that’s still there,” the tears were now running down Louis’ cheeks and Harry couldn’t even be fussed to wipe away his own that were spilling now.

“I can’t stand this house without you. It’s too big and it’s too lonely and it’s too much. It feels dead without you here. I feel like I am living inside a dead corpse. It’s cold and it’s vacant without you. Having you here tonight...hearing your laughter here and seeing you smile here...it brought this house back to life, Louis. It...it made it a home again.”

“I’m sorry I curled up to you on the couch like that. I just...it’s been so, so long.”

“No, Lou. Don’t apologize for that. Please don’t. I...I’ve missed you being in my arms so much. My body aches without yours beside it. And tonight...it felt right again. It felt good to have you in my arms. And I couldn’t help but cry a little during the movie because I knew that this was just a brief moment and that come morning, we’d wake up and things would go back to what they’ve been. I’m stupid and selfish for thinking we could ever be anything more again. You were right when you said you have every right to be guarded. I really hurt you, Louis. And I can never forgive myself for that. I just...I keep having to remind myself how much I don’t deserve you and how I don’t have a right to you anymore. I can’t...I can’t keep wanting to reach out and touch you. Or kiss you. I can’t do any of those things anymore and I deserve that. Because I took you for granted, Lou. And I took _us_ for granted. And I should have treasured every touch, every kiss so, so much more.”

Louis wiped at his cheeks with the back of his delicate wrist, “Who says?” He asked, his voice slightly shaky from crying and still slightly pouty.

“Who says what?” Harry asked, blinking back his own tears.

“Who says that come morning this has to end?”

Harry was confused, “You...you said that you couldn’t let me back in your life like that…”

“No, Hazza. I said I couldn’t let you back in my life like that _yet._ I needed some time. I couldn’t just see you again for the first time in five years after how we left things and just accept you back like that. I couldn’t. So I didn’t. But tonight...tonight I feel like I’ve come home. And not just to this house, but to you. I have felt so lost without you, Hazza. We got together when we were so young. Maybe logically too young. But it was what it was. And we got together and from the moment we were sixteen and eighteen, we were inseparable and crazy in love with each other. Aeropostale said love is one soul in two bodies. And I really feel like that’s us, Hazza. I feel like that’s us. And I’ve missed the other half of my soul so, so much.”

“Aristotle.”

“What?”

“Aristotle said that,” Harry couldn’t help but giggle happily. The tears were still filling his eyes, but there was a comfortable warmth that spread over him. And that little tiny space for hope seemed to have grown tremendously. “Aeropostale is a kid’s clothing store.”

Louis gasped slightly, pulling back from Harry and looking at him with a slack-jawed look of complete indignance, “Are you seriously correcting me right now, H?”

“Sorry!” Harry giggled again, “Sorry! Really. Sorry,” he coughed to control himself and said, “Do you really feel that way, Lou?”

“Yeah, Hazza. I really do. When we were on the patio out back, I knew I wanted you in my life again. But I just wasn’t sure I was ready. After being here tonight though, being in your arms again...I just...I know this is where I belong. And maybe you’ll hurt me again. I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t fucking care right now. I’d get my heart broken a thousand times by you, Harry Styles. It’d be fucking worth it every time.”

“I wouldn’t though,” Harry shook his head, “I wouldn’t break your heart ever again.”

“I want to believe you. But the truth is, we will. You’ll break my heart and I’ll break yours. If we’re going to be a forever thing, Hazza, somewhere in between now and forever there’s going to be more fights and angry words. There’s going to be times where we hate each other. But the key, I think, is to make sure that even in those times, we make the decision to love each other more than we hate each other. It’s a conscious choice. And it’s a choice we have to make if we’re going to last.”

“I promise to choose to love you, even when I hate you.”

“I promise the same.”

Harry felt the butterflies return to his stomach tenfold. He and Louis’ gaze met and there was such intensity in that one look. Harry felt like this one look shared between them in this one moment was more intimate than a majority of the other activities they’d shared on this bed. It was a look of complete and utter _want_ for each other. A longing.

“I love you,” Harry said.

“Say it again,” Louis commanded.

“I love you.”

“ _Again._ ”

“I love you.”

“Kiss me, Hazza,” Louis’ voice was wrecked and desperate, “Kiss me right now. I need your words - _those words_ \- in my mouth. Kiss me and tell me you love me. Need to feel those words against my tongue. Speak them into me.”

Harry locked his hands behind Louis’ neck and pulled him down. He pressed his lips against Louis’. Their kiss was soft and tender at first - a rediscovery. Louis parted his lips slightly, urging Harry to enter as their kiss deepened. They wrote a love letter with their tongues.

When they broke apart, Harry kept his hands still clasped behind Louis’ neck. They smiled against each other’s lips, eyes dancing and unable to leave each other’s gaze.

“Home tastes like your mouth and feels like your arms,” Louis brushed a curl from Harry’s face.

“Welcome home, Lou.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kuddos, and bookmarks make my day! :)


End file.
